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Vampire Tales Chapter 6
It continued to rain.
After that, it continued again.
At the same time, the hail followed suit, mindlessly, just falling because it couldn't think what the heck else to do.
The rain was in sort of precisely in the same boat. After thousands of millions of centuries plus two of falling, always down, never left or right or up, it was now sort of in a rut. The merest thought of the vaguest prospect or maybe falling up sent shivers through the rain, which is why it sometimes looks kind of wiggly when it's falling in sheets.
The rain, and the hail, for want of better imagination, fell.
A cool wind snaked through the pines, over the damp roofs and past the window seventeen feet down the hall from the door behind which was located the airless uniformity of the cubicle in which a self-abnegating vampire sat, staring at the phone.
The meeting had been cut short, as one of the key members had been unconscious for the first five min-utes and woozy for the rest. Dorjan wasn't exactly sure what
Vampire Tales Chapter 5
"So you saw him in the café first?" Dr. Allen asked.
"Yes, and then I saw him running away from my newly laptopless car, and then I saw him running down bloody Bloody Road."
"Are you sure that he actually stole your laptop?" Lawrence ventured.
"No, but there was no one else there who could have."
"No one?" Lawrence repeated.
"Well, there was the old lady who assailed me, and a guy with a stroller on the other side of the street."
"Neither of them seem likely," Lawrence declared. Unlike most people, striking his head on a slab of concrete seemed to have focused his mind rather than fuzzied it. He propped himself up on his elbows in his hypochondriacally sterile hospital bed, and looked out the window. "There's a police station across the street," he observed.
"Yes, I'll probably go over there and tell them."
"The sooner the better." He settled back into his pillow. "They generally like a head start."
"They certainly do. We
Vampire Tales Chapter 4
Dr. Allen's green Volvo station wagon rasped like a blues singer who smoked too much, viz., at all, down the street to the hospital, past a small athletic store named, rather disconcertingly, Porky's.
Porky's was tenant in an old, thin two-story office building that had seen better days. The black paint was chipped and peeling, the windows were so old that they bulged at the bottom. The roof seemed only to exist to make the point that there was no point in its existence: that is, it did nothing but leak. That meant that today, as it began to mizzle, drops of filthy water began drip, drip dripping into the hair of the cashier, who was named Seth, who cantankerously grumbled about the weather and put on a running hat which she borrowed from the rack. She was about twenty, a student at the local community college, studying Span-ish. She was quite muscular, which came from training for several triathlons, and then, just to prove the
Vampire Tales Chapter 3
Gomer looked out the window and saw the ambulance drive by, sirens howling.
"Hey! The ambulance just drove past!"
Dr. Allen looked up.
Lawrence looked out the window.
"There they go again!" he commentated.
Dr. Allen stood up.
"They're probably looking for an injured bicyclist," she said. "We should go outside."
They walked out the door in time to see the ambulance drive past a third time.
"Maybe I should wave at them next time they pass," Lawrence suggested.
And thus, when the ambulance passed the fourth time Lawrence waved his arms, and when it was obvi-ous that they weren't slowing down or pulling over he began jumping up and down, too.
They drove past.
"Oh, this is ridiculous," Gomer said.
He snatched Lawrence's bike from the rack and wheeled it over to the edge of the sidewalk. When he got there, he lay down in the gutter among the wet leaves and litter, and lay the bike on top of himself.
"What are you doing?" Lawrence said.
"Wait for it," Gomer replied.
A few moments p
Vampire Tales Chapter 2
The vampire skidded through the doors of the office building, sneakers squeaking on the scuffed lino-leum.
"Hi Louise," he barked at the raven-haired receptionist as he galloped across the lobby.
"I'm Sylvia," she said peevishly.
"Whatever," he yapped as he made a sharp left turn and vaulted up a few steps to the elevators. He slapped the Up button and ran on the spot until the doors opened. Then he ran into the elevator, clouted the 6 button, and spanked the |>
Telephone ChroniclesRing ring ring.
Stupid telephone. Must answer.
Ring ring ring.
I'm coming, you infernal appliance!
Ring ring ri—
Voice on other end. Saccharine.
"Hello, this is Jonathan speaking, from Jones Insurance Corporation, and I—"
Replace handset. Walk back to chair. Sit. Down. Where's my book? There it is. Bookmark fell out. What page, what page? Ah. Of course. Page 34—
Ring ring ring.
Put down book. What page? Grr. Get up. Shuffle over to phone. Frickin' phone. Pick up handset.
"Hello, this is Jeremy speaking, from Johnson Insurance, Incorporated, and I—"
"—Am a stupid git."
Ooh! How deliciously satisfying! Back to book. Page 342.
'then. Mr. Pickwick, sir, there is a suit of clothes in that bag and a hat in that box which I expect, in the effect they will produce'
Ring ring ring.
"Congratulations, Mister Smith, you have won an all-expenses-paid trip to Disneyworld!"
"No I haven't."
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